Sometimes you just have to fight against injustice
The third reaction I got to my speech this summer that helped me understand the resistance to this work was: “Sometimes you just have to fight injustice.” This was said by a white male who is a union representative. A related response I also hear sometimes is, “I want to fight back; they deserve it.”
Analyzing who said this has helped me realize that people think fighting with those who disagree with them is powerful. Anger feels powerful.
This is a manifestation of the conflict style of “competing,” where your needs are prioritized over others. This has the upside of quick decision-making but the downside of being potentially harmful to others.
And many of the people who hold this belief are men — specifically white men, who do have power. My questioner had a position of power both because he was a white man and because of the backing of his union, a power derived from a group of people. (Note: A similar comment was also said to me by a Black woman, but probably for other reasons.)
This helped me realize that the suggestions I’ve been making are typical of people who don’t have power, who have to use other methods to get their way.
But an angry response that derives from power doesn’t help us solve our long-term problems. You can force a person to say or do something, but force doesn’t work to convince people of anything. As Abigail Van Buren said, “People who fight fire with fire usually end up with ashes.”
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