I just read this article; it resonated with me so much. Mine was my mom. We had a very strained MIA relationship 10 years prior for reasons unclear to me. She passed 2 years ago but I found out from my cul de sac neighbor’s daughter who was in the same grade as I was growing up. My dad had walked over and made her dad promise he wouldn’t tell me. The daughter thought it was wrong not to so she called me at work one day. 6 mos prior to her death she called me for the last time and told me she missed me and loved me and I said the same to her. I was stubborn to not visit them just because for no reason she told me that my husband was no longer welcomed as a family member and she refused to give me a reason. If I knew the tools I have now back then, I would have done things differently. I would have abided but her rules and gone visiting alone and then I would have had the chance to ask her to explain. The door to communication with my dad and brother has wielded shut. Before my mom died I called many times but no answer. I even sent their local police over to their house to do a check and apparently my dad answered the door and told them that all was well and that he would call me. There was never any call. The politics that my brother played probably helped sever whatever there could have been in the relationship. These days I continue to process all of it and have come to terms with all of it at some level. I read and meditate, do all the healing techniques on myself that I was teaching and doing on my patients. So, yes, I chose this particular article to read first because I knew it would trigger me and I needed to find out how I would react and what I would feel. I am sorry for your lost relationship with your Aunt Dot but I also believe our loved ones know that we love them and they still know. And, they remain near us at all times.
I just read this article; it resonated with me so much. Mine was my mom. We had a very strained MIA relationship 10 years prior for reasons unclear to me. She passed 2 years ago but I found out from my cul de sac neighbor’s daughter who was in the same grade as I was growing up. My dad had walked over and made her dad promise he wouldn’t tell me. The daughter thought it was wrong not to so she called me at work one day. 6 mos prior to her death she called me for the last time and told me she missed me and loved me and I said the same to her. I was stubborn to not visit them just because for no reason she told me that my husband was no longer welcomed as a family member and she refused to give me a reason. If I knew the tools I have now back then, I would have done things differently. I would have abided but her rules and gone visiting alone and then I would have had the chance to ask her to explain. The door to communication with my dad and brother has wielded shut. Before my mom died I called many times but no answer. I even sent their local police over to their house to do a check and apparently my dad answered the door and told them that all was well and that he would call me. There was never any call. The politics that my brother played probably helped sever whatever there could have been in the relationship. These days I continue to process all of it and have come to terms with all of it at some level. I read and meditate, do all the healing techniques on myself that I was teaching and doing on my patients. So, yes, I chose this particular article to read first because I knew it would trigger me and I needed to find out how I would react and what I would feel. I am sorry for your lost relationship with your Aunt Dot but I also believe our loved ones know that we love them and they still know. And, they remain near us at all times.