When I first thought about this topic, I was considering the elements that go into safety, which I will get to in a minute. But, then I also remembered what Jonathan Haidt and Greg Lukianoff say in their book, “The Coddling of the American Mind.” They assert that we have developed a culture of “safetyism,” where we mistake emotional challenges for actual danger. This desire to stay safe at all costs means that we avoid anything that might challenge our point of view, and thus, we never hear a different point of view. We protect ourselves to the extent we close ourselves off. This might be behind some of our inability to have these discussions productively. How much of this is true for you?
This was indeed a very interesting topic that I’ve never really given much thought about openly but have been aware consciously and so I am always in the habit of quiet observation and/or I test the waters with unassuming statements related to the subject matter of my point of view before speaking my opinion and making my side of an argument. I also have a tendency to put out there that this has been what I’m exposed to and that I’m aware of other opinions to the contrary and that if what I say does not agree with them, that’s ok. If they felt that just one aspect of what I said was meaningful, that’s ok, too. But, if I start to feel something escalating, I also know that I may have triggered something unconscious and suppressed within them and so I just stop, give them the courtesy and respect of listening and know that they have some healing to do and that their attack was not about me but about them, whether they realize this or not. Too many folks are unaware that many have traumas that have not healed or are barely healing. I, too, have been in darkness but working through them gives me a step up every time and more tools to have in my tote bag to deal with the next fall. I loved this article. Thank you.
This was indeed a very interesting topic that I’ve never really given much thought about openly but have been aware consciously and so I am always in the habit of quiet observation and/or I test the waters with unassuming statements related to the subject matter of my point of view before speaking my opinion and making my side of an argument. I also have a tendency to put out there that this has been what I’m exposed to and that I’m aware of other opinions to the contrary and that if what I say does not agree with them, that’s ok. If they felt that just one aspect of what I said was meaningful, that’s ok, too. But, if I start to feel something escalating, I also know that I may have triggered something unconscious and suppressed within them and so I just stop, give them the courtesy and respect of listening and know that they have some healing to do and that their attack was not about me but about them, whether they realize this or not. Too many folks are unaware that many have traumas that have not healed or are barely healing. I, too, have been in darkness but working through them gives me a step up every time and more tools to have in my tote bag to deal with the next fall. I loved this article. Thank you.