I am afraid to ask because I might learn something that I don’t want to know

This was a comment made by a friend about a family member who they disagreed with politically. They want to believe good things about the person but are fearful they will learn the person is racist but that that person will feel ashamed to admit it.

I get it. I might also be afraid. I am writing this newsletter at least partially to give myself ideas for what to do other than freeze.   

There are two previous posts I’ve written that might be helpful: one on accepting people as they are (link) and the other on putting the relationship first (link).

Perhaps this person is being too hard on themselves; they are just accepting the person as they are and putting the relationship first.