Bookending
A technique I use occasionally when I know I will be facing a challenging conversation is bookending. This might be before you go to a family dinner or make a visit to a challenging relative. I can be especially good to do it close to the encounter.
First, I plan to talk about the conversation with a supportive person. I talk about what I am afraid of, what I want to accomplish and what my hopes are. It helps me think through what I want to say and helps to put my fears into perspective.
Then I am better prepared to have the conversation.
Finally, I circle back to someone (perhaps the same person) and talk about how the conversation went. I reflect on what I did well, what I didn’t do well and want to work on, and my feelings about the conversation. This helps me prepare for any new conversations!
Have you ever tried this? How did it work?
I just read this message. I am pleased that it is exactly what I did this morning - talk with someone else before a potentially anxious time with a close relative. Helped a lot to have verbalized my worries, planned a strategy and was then able to execute it. So nice to then have Karen pat me on the back!