I used to spend a lot of time trying to come up with the perfect thing I could say to a person to get them to change their mind and act the way I wanted them to act. It never worked. Attempts at manipulation often don’t. Or if it does work short term, it creates ill will and long-term resentment.
Enjoyed this issue and can totally relate. The key, as you stated, is acceptance of the other person. Free will to choose goes both ways. Took me a long time to come to this realization. It doesn’t make situations easier, but it does preserve the peace and strengthens the integrity of relationship.