Are you dealing with disgust?
If you aren’t getting anywhere when you talk to someone, you’re probably running up against something that’s very deep-seated, something that the person may not even recognize themselves. One of those deep-seated emotions is the feeling of disgust.
Disgust is behind a lot of the core issues that our society is divided over. It’s behind attitudes about race, abortion, homosexuality and trans people.
Disgust is a physiological reaction described by Darwin. It can’t be controlled, and you can’t talk someone out of it. It goes so deep.
Conservatives tend to have higher levels of the disgust reaction. In fact, one scientist suggested that the varying levels of disgust reaction might be the underlying reason for the political polarization we’re experiencing.
But not being able to talk someone out of their disgust doesn’t mean there aren’t things you can do in a conversation. As I mention in my book, “Persuade, Don’t Preach: Restoring Civility Across the Political Divide,” you can use another relevant moral foundation to break through. I personally think that we could use the fairness moral foundation, as I talk about in this newsletter. Or you can use one of the other tools I’ve been detailing in this newsletter that have been shown to be effective:
I’ll continue to provide more information about tools you can use to improve your conversations with those you disagree with. We need more healthy conflict where we use our differences to understand each other, not high conflict, where we vilify the other.