Which wolf do you feed?

This parable illustrates a deep truth about ourselves:

ONE EVENING, AN ELDERLY
CHEROKEE BRAVE TOLD HIS
GRANDSON ABOUT A BATTLE THAT
GOES ON INSIDE PEOPLE.

HE SAID "MY SON, THE BATTLE IS
BETWEEN TWO 'WOLVES' INSIDE US ALL.
ONE IS EVIL. IT IS ANGER,
ENVY, JEALOUSY, SORROW,
REGRET, GREED, ARROGANCE,
SELF-PITY, GUILT, RESENTMENT,
INFERIORITY, LIES, FALSE PRIDE,
SUPERIORITY, AND EGO.

THE OTHER IS GOOD.
IT IS JOY, PEACE LOVE, HOPE SERENITY,
HUMILITY, KINDNESS, BENEVOLENCE,
EMPATHY, GENEROSITY,
TRUTH, COMPASSION AND FAITH."

THE GRANDSON THOUGHT ABOUT
IT FOR A MINUTE AND THEN ASKED
HIS GRANDFATHER:

"WHICH WOLF WINS?..."

THE OLD CHEROKEE SIMPLY REPLIED,
"THE ONE THAT YOU FEED"

Source: https://www.nanticokeindians.org/page/tale-of-two-wolves

I have two different takes on this parable. The first is typical of most interpretations and I have focused on for a while.

We have a choice of what to pay attention to, what to feed. Whatever we feed, whatever we spend time doing, reading, talking about expands.

When we give in to conflict, when we regard someone as our enemy, we are feeding the evil wolf.

To feed the peaceful wolf, take care with what news you consume, what stories you retweet or like on Facebook. It may mean not watching stories that pillory those you disagree with.

And definitely avoid those whom author Amanda Ripley calls the “conflict entrepreneurs,” those who profit from our divisions. Avoiding them will starve them from attention and hopefully break the algorithm. Instead, look for uplifting stories, not just stories of cute animals but stories of how people have applied peaceful principles in their lives and have grown as people.

And when you are in a difficult conversation, the more you pay attention to their good wolf, the more likely your conversation will end peaceably.

I was going to end this newsletter here with that interpretation until I found a podcast devoted to this story! It has over 400 episodes. You can find it here. The host (Erik Zimmer) has several episodes that talk about how you can’t ignore the evil wolf, that you need to learn from it and integrate it into you to be a fully rounded person. I love that take away. And we need to use that same process in our conversations, learning from those we disagree with. Not to label them a bad wolf, but to be curious.

How do you treat the bad wolf in conversations? Do you learn from it?

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