When was the last time you changed your mind?

We don’t often recognize and think about how we change our own minds. Psychology has a name for that. But if we want to have successful conversations with people who disagree with us, aren’t we asking them to change their minds? So, spend some time thinking about the last time you changed your mind.

How long has it been? 

What prompted your change?

I recently read someone’s description of how she had realized the advantages she had because of her race.  It was a gradual process, prompted by new information she read or learned, given by sources she trusted. There’s a key word here: trust.

Her change wasn’t prompted by someone who called her a racist or yelled at her.

Black jazz musician Daryl Davis has befriended over 200 Ku Klux Klan members, who over time, left the Klan. Because they came to like and trust him. Here’s his TED talk.

If you want someone to rethink what they believe, then you need to become someone they like and trust.