What can you do to build up a relationship?

What appreciating the good can do to help

I have been having a challenging time in a very close relationship right now. When I was speaking about this conflict, a wise person asked me questions which helped me to recall that when the two of us first met, I had recently  undergone a traumatic event. I was very young, had no emotional support or tools, so I didn’t know how to deal with the trauma, so I was acting out. I was on a destructive path that the new relationship interrupted. My life turned around and became very different than if this person wasn’t in my life.

My wise friend asked me if I had told this person about how much I appreciated that he helped me when I was in need so many years ago.  I hadn’t ever put the entire story together, and certainly hadn’t told anyone else.

My resolution is to cherish this person and remember the effect that he had on my life.   And maybe I will gain enough courage to tell this person how much of an effect he had on my life.

If you have a relationship that is troubled, is there some way in the past that it has changed you or affected you in a positive way?  Perhaps reflecting on that will change the way you approach the relationship now.