Weaponized belonging

I’ve written a book (Persuade, Don’t Preach) which used the idea that the group to which we belong is a crucial underpinning to our identity. But I had never heard the term “weaponized belonging” until recently. I think the term perfectly captures both the power that belonging has for people (lack of belonging can cause people to commit suicide) but also how some groups use belonging.

This particular person was referring to the evangelical churches and how good they are at creating activities and a sense of community for its members. Church can become your life in one of these churches.

But when someone has some doubts about the teaching of that church, the sense of belonging is used as a tool to keep people from doing their own thinking. If people don’t push down their doubts, they won’t belong any longer and they lose the people they thought were their friends. The strong sense of belonging is used as a weapon to keep people in line.

I heard a story of a mother whose adult son came out as gay. She had been active in her church in a small town but was shunned afterwards. She lost her church community, that she thought were her friends. Plus she was in a small town and continued to see these same people everywhere. It was a textbook example of weaponized belonging. They wanted to force her to choose the teaching of the church over the love she had for her son.

I have also recently run across some terms used to inoculate people from continuing to doubt:

• Put on the armor of God

• Faith like a child

• Don’t rock the boat

• Doubt your doubts

This whole topic makes my skin crawl, that such a powerful force would be weaponized and used against people.