Use touch to make difficult conversations easier

This tip came from Gretchen Rubin when she was talking about her new book, “Life in Five Senses”. She says this works, but only in certain circumstances.  It can work if you already have a close enough relationship with the person and if touch is an important sense for the person.  DON’T try to use touch if the person is wary of being touched.  It will backfire.

She suggests that if you know you are going to have a difficult conversation that you start out by touching the person. She claims to have used this with her husband, when she needs to talk to him about a topic that they usually have trouble with.

I used this without knowing about it during a difficult conversation I had last year with someone close to me. He was in a days long snit about something that had happened. This culminated in a final conversation between us, which could have gone very badly.  I saw how upset he was and I just started touching him lightly, rubbing his arm gently. The conversation ended well.

Did my touch contribute? I don’t know, but maybe. Let me know how it works if you try it.