Use the word “we”

I have been giving a lot of thought to when we use the word “we”.  We tend to use the word “we” when we are allying ourselves with the other person or group. 

This can either be appropriate or inappropriate.  For example, I recently heard a woman use the word “we” when she was referring to her husband’s health – that’s inappropriate because it’s his health, not both of theirs. But it is appropriate when it does refer to you and the group. It can also be useful.

I just caught a glimpse of a research paper that found a way to harness the power of this word.  They found that using the word “we” instead of “you” or “your” made the argument more persuasive.

Why? I believe it is because it draws in the other person into allying with you, unconsciously. 

This is a way to overcome divisions.

 We are a tribal people. As humans we only survived because we lived in tribes which allowed us to overcome predators who were stronger or faster than we were. By banding together, we could survive.

This tendency lives on in us, for good or evil. It is the source of our political polarization. But you can harness it for good, to draw us together.