The platinum rule

You’ve probably heard of the golden rule, do unto others as you would wish them to do to you.  Virtually all religions seem to have a similar rule.

But have you heard of the platinum rule?  It goes beyond the golden rule, asking to treat people as they wish to be treated.

An example: A group that I was part of for many years would often end our sessions together hugging each other as an expression of how close we felt to each other.  However, one member was very uncomfortable being hugged. It felt intrusive to her.  If I was to apply the golden rule and treat her as I wished to be treated, I would hug her. But if I applied the platinum rule and respected her wishes, then I shouldn’t hug her.

Apply the platinum rule by treating people the way they wish to be treated, not as you think they should be treated, nor even as you wish to be treated.