Making a resolution to improve your conversations
New Year’s Day represents an opportunity to make a resolution to do something differently. But most people don’t carry through on their resolutions, they tend to fade. We have all heard about the January peak in gym memberships and then the gym is empty the rest of the year.
I have found that if I make only one resolution, something that is important to me, I am more likely to be able to keep it. For the year 2022, my resolution was to try to become more aware of emotions. I have had a problem for years with both recognizing my own emotions and recognizing those of others. This has led to many conflicts. I vividly remember yelling, “I am not angry,” when I obviously was.
I have to say that I have made progress in just a year. A little while ago, I successfully navigated what could have been a difficult conversation. I stayed in the moment and recognized the emotional cues the other person was sending. Because this has been a problem for many years I need to celebrate the small victories when they happen and be realistic about the amount of change I can expect.
My resolution for 2023 is going to be to learn how to ask better questions, which I talk about in this newsletter: https://fracturedrelationships.substack.com/p/what-questions-should-i-ask-c77
Another suggestion I have heard for making resolutions is to make them SMART: Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, Time-Bound. How can I improve my question asking resolution? It’s already somewhat specific, but perhaps I should modify it to say that I resolve to ask one better question a week. That is even more specific, measurable and time-bound.
What is your resolution for changes you can make to improve your relationships in the New Year? What one thing can you do? Is it SMART? I have plenty of tips, browse my newsletter from the past two years to get ideas.