Is the relationship you want to mend healthy?

If the relationship you want to mend has an unhealthy aspect to it, that’s what you need to pay attention to. To address this, this newsletter will feature posts by another newsletter writer, Barb Nangle, who is a Boundaries Coach. Her website is here and she also has a podcast, that was ranked as one of the top 50 mental health podcasts.

What Enmeshed Relationships Look Like and How To Get Out of Them

Being enmeshed means that you’re so connected to your family or another person that you don’t know where you end and they begin. Getting out of enmeshment requires that you set boundaries around your life. This enables you to take care of yourself, rather than taking care of others.

Enmeshed people don’t feel free to make choices about their own preferences. They don’t feel free to choose how they live their lives, what habits they form, their hobbies, their careers, their partners, where they live, etc.

Sometimes enmeshed people don’t know they’re enmeshed because they don’t know anything different. They might believe they’re “close” to their family or that “this is intimacy.” But true intimacy allows for the parties involved to be their real selves with others. It allows them to make choices according to their own preferences.

When we’re enmeshed, we aren’t allowed to express our individuality and we aren’t capable of focusing on ourselves. We’re overly concerned with other people. We may think that we’re involved in life, but we’re not really involved in our own life. We’re involved in other peoples’ lives.

The antidote to enmeshment…(read more here)