Is love the answer?

I’ve heard people say that the answer to our differences is love.  That if we try hard enough to love other people, especially those we have differences with, the differences will be overcome. At first this advice sounded too Pollyannaish to me to be useful.

I could get religious here, after all I have a master’s degree in religion. But I won’t go further except to say that I believe love is Jesus’s core message. 

The reason I thought it was too saccharine sweet to be useful is that I recognize how difficult it is to love someone when you are in conflict with them.  We are human. I give sermons on how hard it is!  This isn’t an original thought, but know that you don’t have to FEEL love, but you can ACT with love.

When I started thinking about what love looks like, I realized that listening is love in action.  This occurred to me when I heard a description of how someone felt who had been truly listened to. Listened to without being interrupted, without being put down for what they said, without being argued with. There is a technique that has been successful in resolving conflicts that people find very healing, where the only person who can speak is the one with the baton. I have also felt that healing myself when I participate in a recovery group that gives everyone time to talk without being interrupted.   

Give someone the gift of love by listening hard, listening in love. For tips on how to listen, see this newsletter.