How do you know whom to trust?
In our polarized society different sides are getting our information from different sources and they just don’t agree. Plus, the “mainstream media” is declining, and people are starting to not pay attention to the media they used to trust. This lack of agreement leads to arguments/discussions that don’t go anywhere because you don’t agree on the facts. It traces back to whom we trust to tell us the truth.
I am especially wary of ads these days. I listen to ads and wonder, why should I believe what you say? And mostly, I don’t. I have been burned a couple of times and now I don’t trust any ads unless I have already heard of the company. I am not even trusting that ad for an unrealistically low price for a brand I’ve heard of. Sorry, I am not buying what you are saying. I am scared it is a phishing technique to get my credentials.
I get the impression that many people don’t think about whom to trust and why they trust people. They just accept what someone tells them if the person matches what they already think. I heard one story of a person who resisted what her doctor recommended because someone on the internet with a stethoscope said something else. Was that person even a doctor? Who knows.
I think a lot of people accept something as truth when it fits with their preconceptions. People don’t like it when they feel they are being challenged. So, they choose to trust people who reinforce what they already believe. That’s driving a lot of anti-vaxx sentiment and distrust of doctors.
I had an idea. What about if, instead of arguing about the facts, we asked the people we disagreed with to discuss how each of us decides who to trust and how they know it’s ok to trust.
I just used Google AI to get an answer for how to know who to trust, here’s part of what it said:
Do they consistently behave in a similar way?
Are they honest?
Do they do what they say they will do?
Another set of questions comes from Dan Simons and Christopher Chabris on the podcast, You Are Not So Smart:
What are they trying to get you to pay attention to?
What beliefs of yours are they trying to exploit?
Are they satisfying your expectations?
I would add questions like:
Are they benefiting from what they say?
Are they trying to sell you something?
Or do they have another financial interest?
Let’s have conversations about how to trust instead of the usual arguments. Maybe it will move our relationships closer together.
Trust, like love, is something we confer on others. They can't earn it. There's naive trust, and there's mature trust. The difference is that mature trust is an assessment we make from knowledge and experience. Mature trust takes into account context. I trust my accountant in matters of taxes, but I wouldn't seek medical advice from her.
Deeds, more than words, reveal the core values and motivations of others. We must rely upon our observations and call others to do so. In the world of politics, disinformation, gaslighting, and distraction are artfully employed to distort our perception. So, we must also observe ourselves wisely. Knowing our own biases and vulnerabilities is key to assessing whom to trust and in what circumstances to rely upon them.