Don’t engage in adversarial listening

I heard this recommendation in a speech given by Parker Palmer, a Quaker author and speaker.  He views it as one step we can take to help heal our world.

He suggests we avoid adversarial listening, which he described as listening for weaknesses in the other.  We don’t listen for things we agree with, or like, or make us think or make us curious. Instead our focus is on finding a weakness in the other or in their argument.

Instead, as another Quaker, Bonnie Tinker, suggested before her death, listen for what you can affirm. What do you agree with? 

Also listen for understanding and listen with curiosity.

Here are more tips on listening in a previous newsletter. And here are tips on how to find things you agree with.