Conflict entrepreneurs

In her book, “High Conflict: Why We Get Trapped and How We Get Out,” journalist and author Amanda Ripley gives a name to people who fuel conflict: conflict entrepreneurs.

She asks us to recognize those who delight in each new plot twist of a feud, those who make a concerted effort to fan the flames of conflict.

One way to recognize them is by their language. Conflict entrepreneurs use words like kill, beat down and thugs. They demonize the opponents.

Conflict entrepreneurs can be individual people or they can be groups or organizations.

As Ripley says, sometimes these people are “loving, persuasive and charismatic. The best ones make themselves essential. They become central to a group’s identity, and without them, it’s harder to feel like there’s an ‘us.’”

Some conflict entrepreneurs hold positions or have expertise that make them into conflict entrepreneurs. Lawyers are one great example of people in that type of role. A story in Ripley’s book identifies another role that falls into that category: election experts. A woman who helped Gary Friedman be elected to the local water board was acting as a conflict entrepreneur and helped to create a bigger conflict.

I’ve also seen Facebook groups that do nothing but post hate-filled items about the other side.

And then there’s the media. In order to fuel their ratings, reader count or clicks, some media outlets fuel conflict. Headlines such as “xxxx refutes xxxx” are nothing but clickbait. This is part of what makes the media landscape so challenging.

When we didn’t have as many different news sources, TV shows played to the middle and didn’t skew to one side or the other. But now that we have so many choices, this is expected. If a particular source doesn’t do it enough, doesn’t feed its audience what they’ve come to expect, then their audience will seek out another media source that does. Sometimes we seem to crave conflict entrepreneurs.

There’s one station in my cable line-up that I believe acts as a conflict entrepreneur. When I found out that my cable fees are supporting this station, I vowed to cancel cable so my money doesn’t fund their divisiveness. But everyone in my house has to agree! (I am working on it.)  

In order to not be trapped in high conflict, we need to walk away from the conflict entrepreneurs. We need to not watch their shows, not read their stories. That’s an important step toward moving into healthy conflict.

Who are the conflict entrepreneurs you encounter? What role do they play in your life? What are you willing to do to move away from conflict entrepreneurs?