Changing my process
As I have been working on this newsletter, I have been learning and changing my ideas. Here’s an example. Last year, I went to a presentation given by Braver Angels, a group that is dedicated to helping to bridge the political divide.
They presented the process they recommend for conversations, which helps to bring people together. It has some similarities to the one I recommend, so I am going to compare them. I got the idea of my process from a friend of mine, Bowen Alpern, who told me about one developed by Quaker, Bonnie Tinker. She based it on a broad reading of philosophy and psychology and used it in an unsuccessful canvassing effort for gay rights. Unfortunately, both of them are deceased and I can’t ask them questions.
Just to review, the process I have been recommending my newsletter is as follows (links are included to newsletters about each stage)
From listening to Braver Angels What I realized was missing from my process was a chance to actually have a conversation. To have a back and forth. For them to respond to what you have to say, and to start the cycle over again. And if you really want to mend your relationships, this part is crucial.!
So, the revised process would be:
Ask questions
Listen
Agree
Respond
· Ask for a response from your conversation partner (saying things like, “what if anything do you agree with from what I said?” or' “any thoughts on what I said?”
Then start the cycle again!