Bad questions

Last week, I wrote about why it is so important to ask questions. But not all questions are good ways to open up the conversation.

A key to the method that I outlined which is helpful in difficult conversations is asking questions.

But it’s easy to ask questions that aren’t helpful.

Here are some bad ways to ask questions:

• Yes, or no questions

• Loaded questions, where the “right” answer (the one you believe is right) is obvious or even not obvious, but subtle.

• Stacked questions where you ask more than one at a time.

• “Why do you think that?” Might seems like an innocuous good open-ended question, but it can come off as attacking.  

• No win questions: the iconic question in this category is “When did you start beating your wife?” – these are questions that assume something and sound accusatory.

Remember, your goal is to build back a relationship.

For good question suggestions, see my newsletter on asking questions.