Assume good intentions
I’ve recently been revisiting a conflict I was a participant in a few years ago. I believe one of the contributing factors to this conflict was lots of criticism and blaming. The group split into two. It was nasty and there were bad feelings.
But I wonder if that might have been avoided if we had been reminded to assume good intentions. Perhaps saying to someone who was being critical, “they are probably doing the best they can.” Or “You know so and so, they aren’t being malicious” might have changed the dynamic.
And since this newsletter is about how to mend fractured relationships, this advice may be even more relevant. In my case, these were people I had known for a long time and I knew that they weren’t bad people.
Would assuming good intentions change the dynamic? If you try it out, please let me know what happens.
Both goodwill and good intentions are foundational for mature trust. Unless we are naive, we recognize the importance of assessing whether someone is worthy to be trusted. That assessment takes into account perceived goodwill, observed behavior, reputation, and an assessment that the other person is capable. Assume good intentions, but be cautious about how much is placed at risk.