Ask better questions
I’ve written before about the importance of asking good questions, which fits into my model of:
(each one is linked to the previous newsletter on this topic.)
But I heard a podcast that helped open me up to an ever better idea, asking better questions. This is from Kelly Corrigan Wonders.
The story that caught my attention was about efforts that had been made for years in New Mexico to get approval for universal day care for young kids and kept running into roadblocks. The Governor finally did something different. She went to the person who was doing the blocking and asked different and better questions. Now, she didn’t get exactly what had been asked for all that time, but she got something.
Now, I’ve heard people try to ask different questions but not quite succeed. For example, I listened to a podcast that asks questions like “what’s your favorite cheese?”. Someone else I listen to dives deep into the person’s history and asks questions about that. Sometimes that is wonderful, but sometimes it fails, so there are no guarantees. But I think the best interviews I have heard always have someone who has put a lot of effort into asking interesting and different questions. One type of question you could try is: What would you support on the issue of ….?
Another option I heard for asking better questions is to ask the opposite question, paired with the question you would normally ask. For example, I heard one asking, not just, “why should I hired you?, but also “Why shouldn’t I hire you?” The story went that in the process of answering the “why not” question, she realized that she shouldn’t take the job. That pairing can open up a window into a different answer.
How could you change what you are asking that might get a different response?
Asking deep questions to friends I have found to be very powerful, but you are so right, it doesn't always work. Sometimes it engendered resistance and even anger.